Have Cheap Luggage, Will Travel

Once I did a Bible study with a bunch of older women about how to balance disappointment in life and your relationship with God. I remember telling them that I had no major disappointments and didn’t really connect with the study. They looked right at me with eyes heavy from years of unrealized expectations and told me to wait a while. They were right…

My mom got engaged this week. That means that everyone in my immediate family will have been married before me…everyone. I can already feel the all too familiar looks of pity from my family that I will have to endure at her wedding.

For a long time, I have wanted to be married and raise a few kids. So, why would God have allowed all of my family that privilege but not me? Also, why would God put a burning desire in me for something that He is barring the path to?

These questions produce two warring reactions in me – anger over my disappointment and a quiet understanding that God’s plan is better than mine. Fortunately, my relationship with God won’t let me jump off the cliff of frustration no matter how much I want to wallow in self-pity. However, it bothers me that I am even asking these questions in the first place because it makes me think about the true source of my satisfaction…

If I am unsatisfied, than what would make me fully satisfied? What about you? I’m sure that we could make a long list together – getting married, better job, even “spiritual” things like becoming a missionary. But what happens when those dreams turn into unrealized expectations?

In the past I have dealt with it by dumping my dirty little life for a shiny new one – moving to a new town, getting a new job, looking for a new relationship, even buying a new shirt…I was constantly searching for satisfaction but coming up empty. My problem in this never ending search is that I followed myself to the next place. We have more to do with our own un-satisfaction than we realize.

So, where then can real satisfaction be found? One of my favorite authors on this subject says it best, so I will default to him.

“We all make gods out of what we take the most pleasure in. Christian Hedonists want to make God their God by seeking after the greatest pleasure—pleasure in him.

We do not mean that our happiness is the highest good. We mean that pursuing the highest good will always result in our greatest happiness in the end,” – John Piper, Desiring God

I am always grateful to discover when my convictions and thoughts don’t line up because it provides a chance for re-alignment to what I know to be true despite my emotional state.

Read: Acts 20:24
Ask: Sometimes looking at the expanse of the course put in front of you can eliminate tunnel vision to the uncomfortable circumstances of today. What do you believe is the course that the Lord has set out for you?

Read: Isaiah 45:19
Ask: If you are unsure of your course, what do you think this verse says about that? Are you really listening and seeking to find answers?

One of my favorite parts about people is finding out what makes them who they are. Learning about the parts of their past that have crafted their future and how they understand the world…People are far more interesting and unique than they give themselves credit for. I think one question that always reveals this is asking how they find the Lord in their lives.

Their answers are as different from each other as night is from day but I have never had someone tell me that they find the Lord in church. Instead they usually describe people and places “out in the world” where they have encountered the living God.

Of course these people have experienced God at church, but for whatever reason it’s not special enough to mention. It might be because we have turned church into a regular rendezvous with God where we expect Him to show up like a hair dresser for our previously scheduled appointment. It is instead the times when we don’t think to look for God that take our breath away. The unexpected encounters…

For example, I feel peace and focus consistently in coffee shops and art museums. For some reason God just built me to love those things. I always look for unexpected encounters there.

Last time I went to the Dallas Museum of Art, I found a modern art exhibit that was a room whose ceiling was covered in yellow incandescent bulbs. The all-white room and everything in it was bathed in a sepia colored light that made you feel like you were in a dream. It was so thick that when kids came in the room they tried to swim in the light and people reached out to touch their friends to make sure they were real. It’s hard to explain how cool it was…I stayed in the room for a while watching people’s reactions to the exhibit. The simple beauty of a colored light bulb was incredibly impactful. There is so much of God in the world if you choose to see it.

So, you can learn a lot by asking people where they find the Lord in their lives. I have learned not tap my toe in annoyance when I don’t see the Lord, but instead to always look for Him. You’ll never know where you will find him or worse, where you are already missing him.

Also, I have learned to embrace the times where I don’t see God as a gift. I tell the girls in my home group all the time that you can never know light without darkness. Contrast brings an amazing amount of clarity for me.

All that to say, I think my pursuit of God has gotten easier as I have realized that the promise is not that we would arrive at constant state of nirvana-like happiness but instead that we would get more God as we walk the path laid out for us. I am fully satisfied with that.

Read: Psalm 63:1-5
Ask: What do you think it means to be satisfied in God?

Read: Isaiah 45:19
Ask: What does this verse say the result of your seeking will be?