Have Cheap Luggage, Will Travel

Sometimes I find myself treating my faith like a combination lock twisting and turning circumstances to try to find God. A little bit of prayer to the left…reading my Bible 20 minutes a day to my right…telling a stranger about my faith once a month back to the left and pull! Strangely enough the lock never opens and even more disappointing is that this journey has not brought me closer to knowing my Creator any better.

If you really thought about it, it’s almost like I want God to be my own genie in a bottle appearing upon my prayerful request and grating my wish to know Him better. There is enough life behind me to know that this 3 step method approach to my faith will not work but I find myself trying anyway. To be honest, my faith is the most frustrating thing in my life because way more often than not, I only see shadows of the God I love.

Usually I only see God where He was. A glance back at my life over that last few years for comparison to today to see forward progress, a friend that came to faith suddenly or a sister that professes a deep faith where there was none before. All these things scream divine influence but how did I miss Him when He was there. That moment where nothing in the universe could convince you that God doesn’t exist. However just as quick as He came, He sneaks back behind the veil of mystery and I am left with shadows and nagging uncertainties.

Why be a Christian then? I guess for this reason. I have heard some men say after they have met their mate that they just want to spend the rest of their lives navigating the deep waters of their woman’s soul. To them it is about the relationship not the goal. No one, including our God, wants to be conquered only to be a trophy on a wall. When it is all said and done the process of the pursuit is enough motivation for me because I can remember the moments when He was here.

There are just some mysteries of life that are not meant to be fully understood or unraveled - a woman’s thoughts, the motivation of great artists and our faith in an invisible God. Curiosity keeps us engaged with wonder that would disappear if we had all of the answers.

Read: Matthew 13:10-17
Ask: After waiting all this time to come to this world, why would Jesus teach in parables? Why wouldn’t he be as clear as possible?

Read: Jeremiah 29: 12-13
Ask: This verse seems to indicate a clear path to find God. Why is that not always true for us?

Read: Acts 17: 26-27
Ask: What does this verse seem to indicate about our pursuit of God?

Do you know when somebody tells you something about yourself that is hard to hear simply because it is true? Your first reaction is always defensive, right? Who are you…I am not…and a whole other list of excuses on why they don’t know what they are talking about, when deep down your first reaction is a cringe of guilt.

A close friend recently shared with me her concerns over my attitude to leadership positions in my life and my desire to avoid them.

“Responsibility has found you if you like it or not.”

-Cringe-

Let me explain how I got here. The main struggle of my life is to avoid the legacy of control left to me by my father. However, it seems that my worst fear has become my reality just disguised as something different.

My Dad and I have pretty much been at war with each other since I was young. He would try to control me, I would refuse to be controlled and many of our disagreements have made a nest of bitterness in my heart where I now attempt to control the leadership opportunities that God puts in my life by not participating in them because I am afraid of being my Dad.

How that plays out day to day is I focus on putting myself behind people to push them forward instead of leading the way. That is exactly why my friend shared with me the quote of my year…

“Responsibility has found you if you like it or not.”

My friend was asking me to be a leader but I was checked out and she had to plead with me to wake up from my complacency. Let’s be honest, committed complacency is control with different pants on.

-Cringe-

Since I have decided to be more open to leadership opportunities, a comforting peace has been infecting my days and I can see where my committed complacency has done more than just make me run from responsibility. I have been running from God’s plan for my life.

So, I don’t know if you have come to terms with your legacy that God has laid out for you but I can bet you that it is scary and will require you to lean on the Lord in order to not screw it up. However, it is not worth avoiding it because it will eventually chase you down.

In conclusion, let us raise our glass in celebration of
…friends that can say I love you but hate you right now
…to the committed pursuit of our hearts from the God of the universe
…and to the opportunity to reshape legacies.

Read: Psalm 66:10
Ask: What does this verse tell us about the origin of some trials? How does that make you feel about some difficult things that you are facing today?

Read: Daniel 11:33-35
Ask: How does this verse help you have grace for flawed leaders in your life?

Read: Jeremiah 29:11-13
Ask: How do these verses give you peace about difficulties in your life?

Some friends and I are going through the book of Mark together and one of the most interesting things to me is the style that Mark tells his story about Jesus.

There’s nothing creative about it. In fact it’s not even eloquent. Mark runs quickly through miracle after miracle straight into the crucifixion without weaving even the slightest bit of metaphor through his story.

It goes a little like this. Step one - Jesus performs a miracle. Step two – the disciples do or say something stupid. Step three – repeat. That cycle continues for the whole book which makes me feel a little bit better about my own hardheadedness.

Anyway, I guess you could say that there is not much use in studying this gospel if you are searching for the deep waters of Biblical theology but the simplicity of reminder is something not to be missed.
What I mean is, sometimes even though you were there, you forget what happened. We need to be reminded occasionally as to not to forget what does not need to be forgotten.

Recently I have had a funk chasing me and I am just getting tired of being me. But after reading through Mark, I think I just need to remind myself of why I am here and would like to share a part of that with you.

- The Lord was always a part of my home growing up but I always kept Him at arms length, more interested in myself. Despite that, I saw His hand for the first time in college.

- Once, my car died for real and I needed to replace the long block in the engine which was going to be a couple thou and I literally had $20 to my name. All of a sudden, an old employer popped up and asked me if I would work for them over the summer. They offered me $10 hour cash, paid for my car repairs on their personal credit card and let me work off the debt. On top of that, they gave me their car to drive while the repairs were getting done.

- Apparently the education system in Texas frowns on you taking out financial aid for 6 years of college and will eventually cut you off. I found that out the hard way and one semester was faced with having to drop out of school with now way to pay. A friend’s family called and wanted to pay the bill no questions asked. They even took me to New York on vacation to celebrate.

- At the tail end of school, I worked on a contract basis for a company called Women of Faith during but never considered working there full time. A few years later, I was juggling 2 jobs to try to make ends meet and needed help. I called a friend on staff at WoF to see if she had any job leads in other companies. That friend I called told me how glad that she was that I called because she was moving and they needed somebody to start in 2 weeks. She was looking for my cell phone number that very moment I called. I had not talked to that girl in almost a year. That job has now affected almost every area of my life.

- I had a friend that wasn’t a Christian and pretty much violently opposed to hearing anything about it. So we never talked about my faith, but about a year into our friendship out of the blue God hijacked my prayer life. I could not pray about anything else and my friend’s soul lay heavy on my heart. So I prayed. The next week she asked me if she could go to church with me – she started asking if she could come to my home group – I gave her a Bible and she read the Old Testament in 1 week – on and on. That girl is a Christian today and her life is completely different, out of nowhere.

Just the facts jack. There are so many more but here are just a few examples of miracle after miracle that God has done in my life. Did you know God is real? My funk may still be chasing me but the simplicity of reminder prompts me to look beyond tomorrow. Be encouraged by your past and take the time to write down your own Mark story. You never know when you might need it to pull you out of the pit.

Read: Psalm 139
Ask: This Psalm was written by David who was named by God, “a man after my own heart”. (Acts 13:22) Despite that call on his life, David lusted after a married woman and had her husband killed so he could be with her. There are some of you who are not encouraged by your past but are shamed by it. How do David’s words in this Psalm make you feel about your past knowing David’s past?

Read: Mark 6:30-44, 8:1-21
Ask: The disciples saw amazing things happen in their time with Jesus but they still seem to doubt his power when faced with trouble. Even when the situation seems exactly the same as in the passages above. How do you react when impossible situations emerge in your life?

Read: Jeremiah 29:11-14
Ask: God reminds us of His ultimate goal for our lives in this passage. Can you see the truth of this scripture in some difficult times in your own life?