About Me...

I am interested in Jesus, great food, handcrafted beer, history, theater, fierce conversations over coffee, where to find the latest deal, word of mouth marketing, stimulating movies and anything else that actually makes my brain work.

About this blog...

The collision of Christ and my life has produced stories that I could never keep to myself. This blog wanders through those stories and the impact they have on my soul.

Showing posts with label matthew. Show all posts
Showing posts with label matthew. Show all posts

The Eyes of My Heart

I really don’t like Texas and have an even deeper disdain for Dallas. DFW culture consists of shopping and big flashy everything. While there are many redeeming parts to our fair city, there is much that makes me want to move into a one-room shack in Seattle.

What’s worse is that on top of its shallow pursuits, it’s just not pretty. We never waste an opportunity to cut down a tree and throw up another strip mall (because we really need another one). Even when you do get out of the city, the woods are nothing more than scraggly sticks surrounded by dirt as far as the eye can see. Not exactly something that inspires me.

Recently in an effort to get away and getting some thinking time, I went camping with some friends darn near the middle of nowhere. Groesbeck, TX. We went to a friend’s land, threw up some tents and froze our rears off in the cold. For some reason, conversation over hot chocolate and a campfire seems that much more fulfilling. On the other hand, there are some parts of the middle of nowhere that are not so cool like using the woods as a bathroom. But more about that later…

The best part of the trip came the next morning when we all piled in the truck to visit my friend’s home church. The trip was a 30 minute adventure through the back country of scraggly sticks and dirt but for some reason that day…it was beautiful.

Everywhere I looked I saw God and it created worship in me. I cried happy tears the whole way there, all the way through the service and even during the cheesy solo that could have been a Garth Brooks song.

After I came back from Groesbeck, it was like I was able to see things in a different way. I saw God in things that would normally start me on my “Dallas sucks” rant. Instead of rolling my eyes, I would venture to say that began things the way that God saw them.

The clouds looked more majestic, people in pursuit of the Dallas status quo broke my heart instead of annoyed me and I just loved being in the world.

I get the feeling that my world was always this way, but for whatever reason, the eyes of my heart were blind to what God was doing around me. I bet that blindness had something to do with my own choices.

Anyway, God is pretty good about letting you get to the end of your thoughts and then showing you how your way is just…dumb.

So I leave you with this thought,

“I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened,
so that you will know what is the hope of His calling,
what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints,
and what is the surpassing greatness of His power toward us who believe.
These are in accordance with the working of the strength of His might.”
- Ephesians 1:18-19

Read: Thomas Merton Quote
Ask: What might you be missing out on because you are trying to make the world about you?

Read: Matthew 16:17
Ask: What does this verse tell you about your own ability to open the eyes of your heart?

Read: 2 Corinthians 3:14-18
Ask: What are you doing to create opportunity to open the eyes of your heart?
(Hint: This could be anything from a place, book or a person. God built us all differently and you should look for what inspires you.)




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Shadows of Existence

Sometimes I find myself treating my faith like a combination lock twisting and turning circumstances to try to find God. A little bit of prayer to the left…reading my Bible 20 minutes a day to my right…telling a stranger about my faith once a month back to the left and pull! Strangely enough the lock never opens and even more disappointing is that this journey has not brought me closer to knowing my Creator any better.

If you really thought about it, it’s almost like I want God to be my own genie in a bottle appearing upon my prayerful request and grating my wish to know Him better. There is enough life behind me to know that this 3 step method approach to my faith will not work but I find myself trying anyway. To be honest, my faith is the most frustrating thing in my life because way more often than not, I only see shadows of the God I love.

Usually I only see God where He was. A glance back at my life over that last few years for comparison to today to see forward progress, a friend that came to faith suddenly or a sister that professes a deep faith where there was none before. All these things scream divine influence but how did I miss Him when He was there. That moment where nothing in the universe could convince you that God doesn’t exist. However just as quick as He came, He sneaks back behind the veil of mystery and I am left with shadows and nagging uncertainties.

Why be a Christian then? I guess for this reason. I have heard some men say after they have met their mate that they just want to spend the rest of their lives navigating the deep waters of their woman’s soul. To them it is about the relationship not the goal. No one, including our God, wants to be conquered only to be a trophy on a wall. When it is all said and done the process of the pursuit is enough motivation for me because I can remember the moments when He was here.

There are just some mysteries of life that are not meant to be fully understood or unraveled - a woman’s thoughts, the motivation of great artists and our faith in an invisible God. Curiosity keeps us engaged with wonder that would disappear if we had all of the answers.

Read: Matthew 13:10-17
Ask: After waiting all this time to come to this world, why would Jesus teach in parables? Why wouldn’t he be as clear as possible?

Read: Jeremiah 29: 12-13
Ask: This verse seems to indicate a clear path to find God. Why is that not always true for us?

Read: Acts 17: 26-27
Ask: What does this verse seem to indicate about our pursuit of God?





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