Have Cheap Luggage, Will Travel

The Living Dead

My friend Jennifer has had an introspective week and I think that it is rubbing off on me.

Oh, praise the one who paid my debt and raised this life up from the dead

We sang a song at church this week and the lyrics from the song have kept rolling around in my head long after I left. I love that song more than others because I really understand how close I was to death in my life.

My death was going to be an active one. I wasn’t really going to die you see, I was well on my way to living a life without life. An empty loveless shell of a thing devoid of purpose and direction.

Death to me is being comfortable. You don’t often hear somebody tell their story of hitting rock bottom and them not wondering if there is more to this life than just living and dying. Traumatic circumstances usually produce action. Also, you often hear people talk about having everything they want in the world, finding it unsatisfying and looking for something more. I was headed for a life in between.

Having just enough money to live in the suburbs, drive a moderate car, have a moderate marriage and kids that don’t get in too much trouble is mind numbing. You have enough to keep you from getting desperate but not enough to let you know that the stuff you seek will not fulfill the longing in your heart.

I pray all of the time for God to keep me uncomfortable because it will keep me looking outside of this place for my fulfillment. That is no small thing to pray and it makes me nervous to ask that of God. Just read the book of Job.

I’ve said this before but it is important enough to repeat. I was very much seeking a path that would have led me to the death I described above. I was not looking to find a real God in that life but he was looking for me.

There is a death that is much worse that simply not breathing anymore and it wants us. But the creator of the universe wants me more and that is all that matters.

“Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you.” Psalm 63:3